Reconditioning

Ever bought a "reconditioned" anything?  A saggy baggy lounge chair that's had it's stomach stapled?  An unroadworthy car with the rust cut out and the oil changed to make it worthy of slipping a few extra dollars to the mechanic to get a pink slip?  Maybe you've bought a "reconditioned" fridge that sparkles like a new dime on the outside and still stinks of dead rotting fish on the inside, just because it would make a good beer fridge.

I'm thinking that's what I've tried to do to myself today.  I'm reconditioning my approach to the world.

I'm cutting out the rust, replacing the idling thingo, patching up the holes in the muffler and getting rid of the musty smell of doing for everyone and watching everyone else do nothing for me. Oh, and staleness.  The staleness has got to go.

Sitting in an office stifled by an air conditioner is wrong in so many ways.  Here's the irony though... those who smoke go out every hour or so to "have a smoke break".  They stand out in the fresh air and suck poison into their lungs.  Um...something wrong there.   Yet, the non-smokers don't get to "have a fresh air break" where we can go out and just breath in fresh clean air.  I don't get it. Might start working on that one tomorrow now that I think about it.

As I said I would this morning, I took my full lunch break and I bought the linen for the quilt.  But I had a few problems trying to slow myself down and do it leisurely-like.  Well I don't get much time to go shopping at lunch, and the shops I went to were a couple of blocks away, but I told myself that the rushed, "but oh so graceful, clodhopping walk / marathon" run was all to make me get a bit of well needed exercise, not that I thought I was taking too long. Reconditioning the brain into believing lies might have to be part of the program for a while too.

It's ok, it's early days in the reconditioning.  I'm still working on it.  I'll get a better coat of Duco soon.

I bought some food on the way back and I sat at the computer, reading work things while I ate it. Lunch got stretched out a little bit that way.. sort of. So that part of the day's plan was achieved.

Getting the linen wasn't exactly right though.  The shops I went to didn't have linen but they did have a nice quilting material that I bought instead.  It's white and it's got a good strong weave in it and it will do nicely for the embroidery... and it was on special and that's always a beacon shining in the dark night to me.

I have to try and remember to buy a fabric pen that washes out...not sure what they are called but it's to transfer the designs.  That will be for tomorrow's foray into the fresh air and sunshine at lunch, if I can walk past the smokers without suffocating.

The young lady I work with who is young enough to be my really young youngest daughter asked me what was wrong today.  She said I seemed calm.  I feel calm actually.  I feel like all the melodrama and frantic antics of others just washed over me today.  Didn't even get a splash on me, I just watched those who did it slowly drown in their own backwash.

Tonight is a late night of work for me so I'm too tired to do anything when I get home, plus it's too late.  I'll be slipping into bed with a glass of red, watch a bit of telly and then pass out like a reconditioned DVD player just out of the 3 month warranty.

I'll give one last thought to the Frantic Antic-ers tonight before I roll over to sleep and that will be "To each his own".  

May they always think that their corners are perfect so they don't suck anyone else into their backwash.

Variegations

I work too hard.  I know I do.  I like to give my best at a job because I'm so uppity that I don't want anyone to think I can't do something.  So I take on more than I should because....well, I don't know why.  I don't know why I do that.

Last week I may have known why I do that, but today I don't.

I'm sitting here having my morning cup of tea and preparing myself for another working week and it suddenly dawned on me that I'm a fool.

I don't mean a moron, I mean a fool.  Fools rush in where others fear to tread.  That's what I do at work.  I rush in and get things done because others won't or can't or just don't.  It happens day in and day out.  You can hear them... "There's that fool Kim going at a hundred miles an hour getting everything done and so she can do this too.  She's fool enough to take it on".

Hmmm.

Well, not anymore.  Today is the day I work at the pace everyone else works at.  I do my bit...obviously well :)... and then go home and forget it and what didn't get done will be there tomorrow.

I don't want to work.

Who does?

I need the money to pay the bills and that, really, is the only reason I work.  I get satisfaction out of a job well done, but I honestly know that if I gave up working tomorrow (because the Millionaire Fairy landed) I wouldn't be bored and I wouldn't feel dissatisfied.

I have so many hobbies that I do and such a wonderful growing family that life could never be boring or unsatisfying.

The fragility of life hit me hard yesterday with the death of a young lady who I saw grow from a toddler to a glamourous young woman.  She did nothing wrong, she worked hard...way too hard at times and she was taken, in the blink of an eye, without having the chance to find that peace only older people can find.

It stinks.  Justify that God or Allah or Bloody Tutenkahmen.  Justify that in your warped fairy tale ways.

And that's what I woke up with in my mind this morning.

So today is the start of the quilt.  I just ordered online my green floss for the leaves and stems.  I'm not going to stick to Ann's colour scheme, I'll be making my own to suit my moods.

I chose variegated green and brown in silk for the leaves.  201 Ash to be exact. I've ordered this from  the Country Quilt Company in Ipswich.

I love to see leaves change colour.  Autumn is my favourite time of the year and my garden gives me so much pleasure as I watch the maples and dogwood change from green to bright reds and yellows.  The variegation in the leaves can be stunning.  It reminds me of how beautiful the world is and how vital it is to remind our kids, and grandkids, to take a moment each day to see something of beauty like that.

So my leaves will be variegated.

I'm going to take my full lunch break today.  I usually don't get a chance to do that either.  But today, it's going to happen.  That will be my first major life variegation.

During lunch,I'll be looking for the linen to use to do the embroidery on.

Onward to a new way of doing things.

Life's corners

Hi,

Today Daughter Number Two lost her childhood friend.  She was killed in a head on car accident.  28 years old, so much to live for... such sorrow.

Today I spoke to my 76 year old mother and thought about what it will be like when I won't hear her voice anymore... such regret.

Today I held two of my four granddaughters and saw their innocence and wonder.... such love.

Today I went to a quilt show and met with a 98 year old lady who was hand quiliting.  I stopped with her and spoke of life for about half an hour.  She was giving me history lessons on quilting, teaching me to take what comes with our lives, telling me practicalities of quilting.... such knowledge.

And then she said to me some words I will never forget.

"It doesn't matter if your corners aren't perfect".

I've never heard truer words.

This is my journey to create a quilt that will always remind me that life doesn't need perfect corners to give you satisfaction.

I bought a pattern from Ann Sommerlad for this named Country Garden.  I spoke with Ann about making it and as she only lives a short distance from me, I know where to go for any help I may need with it.

To be honest, I don't think I want any help.  The quilt is going to help me put everything in perspective.

Please join me.